A Glimpse Into My Daily Life Through Someone Else's Eyes

One of my goals for this year is to write more openly about living with rheumatoid arthritis. So far I haven't done much of that and it's partly due to the fact that my trusty macbook died a few weeks ago. Sadness all around, indeed. This entry was typed up on my blackberry - dedication or what!

My friend Lisa, who I met in the Caymans with Joints in Motion at the end of 2010, has a blog to keep people posted on how her training and fundraising is going. Lisa herself does not have arthritis - she goes through the highs and lows of training and slugging her way through the trials of fundraising in support of a dear friend of hers, Katherine, who was diagnosed with RA a few years after I was.

Back in November Lisa invited myself and Heather, a fellow RA-er and Caymans JIM participant, over to the mainland for the weekend to partake in the Walk for Arthritis with her and Katherine. After the Caymans Lisa told Heather and I that she would love it if we could meet Katherine, because she saw how instantly Heather and I bonded over the understanding of living with this disease and wanted Katherine to experience that, too.

So when it worked out that I had the weekend off I agreed immediately to join in what I knew would be fun. The thing that neither of them knew was that I severely needed the trip, emotionally. I was at a point where I was unhappy with a few things in life - my job and health specifically.

When my health takes a bit of a dive one of the first things to take a hit is my social life. I am often too exhausted and/or sore to want to go out after work. So I stay home where yes, I'm in less physical pain but then the emotional side of things takes a hit. I get upset (with myself) that I'm missing out on something. Or worry that friends think I don't care enough about them to get together with them.

And then I get blue, because I think "without this stupid disease I'd be able to enjoy things more". And let me tell you what a slippery slope that is.

So the thought of spending a weekend with people who either have RA or are extremely familiar with it was exciting for me. That I could walk a little slower and not be self conscious about limping and having someone ask about it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders.

You'll read in Lisa's entry about getting in and out of her car - Heather and I were almost in hysterics laughing over it at one point because if anyone was watching us get out they would have thought "WTF?". But it felt so good to laugh about it while doing so, rather than releasing a sigh and wondering what people who saw me were thinking, which is usually what goes through my head.

I teared up on the ferry ride back to the island because it truly hit me how much I need trips and people like that in my life. I am so lucky to have them to lean on for support, both physical and emotional. And I know I need to plan more of these get togethers with these fabulous women. Not only for the sheer enjoyment of their company, but for my sanity in dealing with the tough moments this disease comes with.

When Lisa posted this entry on her bog it made me both laugh and cry. I was so touched at how observant Lisa was at how Heather and I do our "daily tasks" and search for any sort of shortcut to make it easier on our bodies. It's become so natural for me that I don't even know I'm doing them.

Lisa's Touching Blog Entry