How do you sum up one of the most amazing experiences of your life?
You can't. But you can sure as hell try.
[I'm getting teary already, oh geez. BRING ON THE KLEENEX.]
When Jason suggested last summer that I be his hero for the Caymans Marathon with the Arthritis Society’s Joints in Motion team, I was honoured. So then when he stated I should come down and join as part of the Cheer Team I jumped at the chance, regardless how soon it was to the date of the marathon and how much I had to fundraise.
Words cannot express the absolute love, acceptance, joy, sadness and gratefulness that I experienced over those twelve days. I cried every day for weeks afterward. For both myself and for everyone that shared this amazing event with me, and everyone out there who is dealing with arthritis without much of a support group. This trip gave me something that I haven’t truly felt since being diagnosed with RA nearly seven years ago - a support system. I have amazing family and friends, but there are few people who actually “get it”. That will understand the little [and big!] twinges here and there. The constant dull, aching pain that you actually forget about because it’s just a way of life. The days where you can’t or don’t want to get out of bed because it hurts too much. The way that you modify doing something so that you don’t aggravate a tender joint. The ones who never complain because we have come to deal with this disease silently.
I may have gone down as Jason’s hero for the event but I feel that everyone who participated in the event, arthritis or not, became my hero. My life is a million shades brighter having met all of these wonderful people, and sharing the experience with them.
Of course I wish I had never been diagnosed with this disease. That I could run and jump and do all the wonderful things that I did for 22 years prior. That I wouldn't have to evaluate every outing, every activity, and decide how much it will affect how I feel the following days. But let's focus on the silver lining. Without it, over the last seven years I wouldn't have met some of the most amazing people that I have in my life. People who understand me, who inspire me, who comfort me, who push me just enough to keep me going when the going gets a little tough.
If friendship was wealth, I would be swimming in money like Scrooge McDuck.
Friday, December 2, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
And another adventure begins...
I'm going to take a cue from Lisa and blog my adventures over the next year with my fundraising and training for my Joints in Motion event next October. I'm going to try and be more open with the daily tasks I find difficult, or things that go through my head on days where things are... less than perfect. Why? Not because I want to complain. But because if I don't, how can I truly share this disease and how it affects people?
Tomorrow will be a post to really kick it all off. Tomorrow is the one year mark from heading out on the adventure of my first JIM event. It will be an exhausting one to share, but so very worth it.
In the meantime, a link to my fundraising page for future reference
Tomorrow will be a post to really kick it all off. Tomorrow is the one year mark from heading out on the adventure of my first JIM event. It will be an exhausting one to share, but so very worth it.
In the meantime, a link to my fundraising page for future reference
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Bubblegum Pop to Indie Rock
So I have been a little horrible at writing lately, but settling into a new position in a new store in a new city has had me a little overwhelmed for the last month and a half. Oops! The first three weeks I did a lot of commuting back and forth between Victoria and Nanaimo, and while I don't mind the drive, it's nice to only spend twenty minutes in the car a day rather than the 3.5+ hours.
During my traveling days of the first month of work I put on 3000km on my car. So somewhere between 30-45 hours worth of driving. I somehow became sick of all the music on my ipod. Like most people, I prefer specific types of music for certain activities. I almost always pick upbeat tunes over mellow, but even within that choice I have certain albums and songs that I pick for work, driving, walking, etc. For driving I enjoy having songs and/or albums that are, to me, sing-a-long albums. While I adore Fleet Foxes or Portastatic for work, I just don't feel the same about singing along to their music as I do James Blunt or Hannah Georgas. And by singing I mean hollering at the top of my lungs.
Around the two week mark I dug into my cd collection, consisting greatly of albums from my high school days.
I'm just going to put it out there right now. HUGE POP/BOY BAND FAN during those years. So a lot of my cds are, oh, YOU KNOW, Backstreet Boys, NSync, 5ive, Westlife [loved the British boy bands!] and numerous burned mixed cds from the early days of Napster filled with bubblegum pop music. So I grabbed a few classics and a few various cds. I popped in a mix cd one morning on my departure to Victoria and as I drove through Ladysmith the lyrics to one song came flooding back to me all these years later. "THIS IS SO DIRTY!" I suddenly exclaimed aloud to no one as the meaning of the lyrics sank in. And again and again I said this, because OH MY GOD how did I not turn into a skanky little thirteen year old listening to these lyrics?!
After being relatively horrified at how dirty the lyrics to some of the songs were, I began to think about how it compares to the type of music that I tend to gravitate towards now. Sure, one could say that the music I tend to listen to still has roots in the "pop" genre, but is much more rock based than anything.
One thing I am going to miss terribly about my old store is the music. Often we would throw a CD on, hit "repeat all" and forget it was playing for the next four hours. You'd forget what you were listening to but be enjoying it at the same time. Mike was always discovering new bands or introducing us to old favourites of his. [Amazingly enough I discovered The XX before he did, though not by much.] Shout Out Louds, Spoon, Chad VanGaalen... the list goes on. I've already made Vicky promise to keep me in the loop by emailing me the newest albums brought into the store.
Out of all the musical memories I have from that store, and the dance parties that Vicky and I had, I'll never forget the day that Mike put Christina Aguilera's "Candyman" on repeat for a solid half hour. He bopped his [then] headful of hair and big bushy beard along, truly enjoying the song, exclaiming how it had such a catchy beat. It still makes me giggle every time I think of it.
During my traveling days of the first month of work I put on 3000km on my car. So somewhere between 30-45 hours worth of driving. I somehow became sick of all the music on my ipod. Like most people, I prefer specific types of music for certain activities. I almost always pick upbeat tunes over mellow, but even within that choice I have certain albums and songs that I pick for work, driving, walking, etc. For driving I enjoy having songs and/or albums that are, to me, sing-a-long albums. While I adore Fleet Foxes or Portastatic for work, I just don't feel the same about singing along to their music as I do James Blunt or Hannah Georgas. And by singing I mean hollering at the top of my lungs.
Around the two week mark I dug into my cd collection, consisting greatly of albums from my high school days.
I'm just going to put it out there right now. HUGE POP/BOY BAND FAN during those years. So a lot of my cds are, oh, YOU KNOW, Backstreet Boys, NSync, 5ive, Westlife [loved the British boy bands!] and numerous burned mixed cds from the early days of Napster filled with bubblegum pop music. So I grabbed a few classics and a few various cds. I popped in a mix cd one morning on my departure to Victoria and as I drove through Ladysmith the lyrics to one song came flooding back to me all these years later. "THIS IS SO DIRTY!" I suddenly exclaimed aloud to no one as the meaning of the lyrics sank in. And again and again I said this, because OH MY GOD how did I not turn into a skanky little thirteen year old listening to these lyrics?!
After being relatively horrified at how dirty the lyrics to some of the songs were, I began to think about how it compares to the type of music that I tend to gravitate towards now. Sure, one could say that the music I tend to listen to still has roots in the "pop" genre, but is much more rock based than anything.
One thing I am going to miss terribly about my old store is the music. Often we would throw a CD on, hit "repeat all" and forget it was playing for the next four hours. You'd forget what you were listening to but be enjoying it at the same time. Mike was always discovering new bands or introducing us to old favourites of his. [Amazingly enough I discovered The XX before he did, though not by much.] Shout Out Louds, Spoon, Chad VanGaalen... the list goes on. I've already made Vicky promise to keep me in the loop by emailing me the newest albums brought into the store.
Out of all the musical memories I have from that store, and the dance parties that Vicky and I had, I'll never forget the day that Mike put Christina Aguilera's "Candyman" on repeat for a solid half hour. He bopped his [then] headful of hair and big bushy beard along, truly enjoying the song, exclaiming how it had such a catchy beat. It still makes me giggle every time I think of it.
Friday, May 6, 2011
A love/hate relationship with the sun
Please watch this.
Cancer is one of the things that truly terrifies me that I have no power over. Sure, I have a fear of jumping off a bridge with a bungee cord tied to me, but I can overcome that if need be. I can get up in front of a crowd of people to speak, turning bright red in the process, but survive.
From the age of sixteen I spent countless hours in the sun as a lifeguard and swim instructor. As a result there are countless burns from those years. There were days I would roll into work with enough time to get out on the pool deck but without enough time to slather on the sunblock. Or the summer after my grade twelve year, where it was mid August and I was the darkest I had ever been in my life - surely I didn't need to apply sunblock that one day I was running a bit late. I most certainly went home with a sunburn that day. Perhaps not severe, but it was there.
Add to the fact that I'm fair skinned, blue eyed, have seasonal freckles and natural red highlights in my hair and I know that my risk is high. And while skin cancer doesn't run in my family, cancer in general is very prominent.
I used to joke that I would have skin cancer by the time I was twenty five because of all the burns I had over the years. I'm currently twenty eight and now live in fear of finding a new spot, mole or any other sort of change in my skin.
Two summers ago I found a small freckle/bump on my forehead near my hairline that I had never noticed before. Cue panic. I made an appointment with my doctor to have it checked out. I feared that she would make note of it in my chart, tell me to "keep an eye on it" and send me on my way, even after explaining why I was being so pro-active.
Luckily she is an amazing doctor and pro-active herself. She completely understood my fears, had me make an appointment to get it removed the following week and then sent off for testing. She also removed a mole that I've had since I was born at the same time and sent it away, too. The wait for the results was nerve wracking and you can imagine my sigh of relief when they both came back negative.
When I was younger, a burn meant a bit of pain for a day or two - and then it would melt into a nice tan. Now I'm much more diligent with sunblock. Amazingly during the ten days that I was in Grand Cayman last winter I only got one burn - and relatively minor compared to what I've suffered in the past. Every day year round I apply a moisturizer with SPF 15 in it to my face.
Even though I love how a dark tan looks and adore having a nose covered in freckles brought on by the sun, I have come to embrace my fair skin and do my best to prevent any more damage to my skin. I'm not going to avoid the sun at all costs, but I'm smarter about how I approach it.
Because it just isn't worth the added risk.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Actually, any alcoholic beverage will do
Since first moving to the island, I have moved eleven times, including the moves back and forth to Saskatoon during the summer holidays from school. This upcoming one will be my twelfth one in under nine years.
When I move I'm pretty organized. In preparation for my last move I started packing a month before. Granted, I had an entire apartment to consolidate into one bedrooms worth of furniture and belongings [with a few extra containers in the laundry room of the condo]. Thankfully a friend stored things like my two gigantic bookcases, a few lamps, kitchen items that I wouldn't be needing for a while and other odds and ends that weren't necessary for living where I currently do.
[Sidenote: my current roommate has EVERYTHING you'd ever need, and more. So long, gigantic tv! Netflix! PVR! Couch of dreams!]
Every move I have ever done has taken under three hours. Boxes, bed, desk, dresser, etc... it has always been efficient. The unpacking always takes a heck of a lot longer, but the actual transportation of belongings is quick and easy. I know part of it is because I would feel like absolute rubbish if someone were to show up to help me move and I had things unpacked still. That's just a dick move, let's be honest here. Another reason that I make sure to have everything all set to go is because I am pretty useless when it comes to actually moving. Now more than ever - I can barely lift up my twenty pound cat, let alone carry heavy boxes or a bed.
This upcoming move is turning out to be a little different than previous ones. I move in about a week and I feel as though I have hardly even made a dent in packing my life into boxes. Granted, I have been working full time at a new job in a city that is 1.5 hours away for which I have been both commuting and staying down there for the last week and a half. BUT STILL. I am starting to feel fairly nauseated when I begin to think about the actual move and how it's all going to go down. It may come down to me declaring "Eff it!" and just throwing crap randomly into boxes.
So if you see me in the next week, the kind thing to do is to avoid asking me how the move is going. Instead, offer me a Palm Bay and give me a gigantic hug.
When I move I'm pretty organized. In preparation for my last move I started packing a month before. Granted, I had an entire apartment to consolidate into one bedrooms worth of furniture and belongings [with a few extra containers in the laundry room of the condo]. Thankfully a friend stored things like my two gigantic bookcases, a few lamps, kitchen items that I wouldn't be needing for a while and other odds and ends that weren't necessary for living where I currently do.
[Sidenote: my current roommate has EVERYTHING you'd ever need, and more. So long, gigantic tv! Netflix! PVR! Couch of dreams!]
Every move I have ever done has taken under three hours. Boxes, bed, desk, dresser, etc... it has always been efficient. The unpacking always takes a heck of a lot longer, but the actual transportation of belongings is quick and easy. I know part of it is because I would feel like absolute rubbish if someone were to show up to help me move and I had things unpacked still. That's just a dick move, let's be honest here. Another reason that I make sure to have everything all set to go is because I am pretty useless when it comes to actually moving. Now more than ever - I can barely lift up my twenty pound cat, let alone carry heavy boxes or a bed.
This upcoming move is turning out to be a little different than previous ones. I move in about a week and I feel as though I have hardly even made a dent in packing my life into boxes. Granted, I have been working full time at a new job in a city that is 1.5 hours away for which I have been both commuting and staying down there for the last week and a half. BUT STILL. I am starting to feel fairly nauseated when I begin to think about the actual move and how it's all going to go down. It may come down to me declaring "Eff it!" and just throwing crap randomly into boxes.
So if you see me in the next week, the kind thing to do is to avoid asking me how the move is going. Instead, offer me a Palm Bay and give me a gigantic hug.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Why is it still an issue?
On my trip to the UK last fall the girlfriend I stayed with for most of my trip got me hooked on "Modern Family". A hilarious show if you aren't already watching it. Upon my return to Canada I quickly went back and watched the previous season and caught up on the second. During one of the most recent episodes I was struck by the realization that the show has never written a storyline around the nieces and nephews of Mitchell and his partner Cameron commenting on having an uncle who is gay in a negative way. Or any way at all. It is a non-issue.
Which is how it should be.
I was raised in a way that I didn't know that two women or two men being together was "not normal" until I was told otherwise years later via the schoolyard. One of my aunts has been with her partner for as long as I can recall. My parents never tried to cover it up, or make excuses as to why I received gifts from two women together. I recall the day that my mum sat me down at the kitchen table and explained to me that some people don't think it's right for people of the same sex to be together. I know she did it because I was at the age where kids were starting to say things such as "You're so gay" [or worse] and have it be a horrible insult to one another. I remember that if one of your peers called you gay it was one of the more offensive insults someone could hurl at you. Because it was so wrong to be gay. And at that age you were doing everything in your power to be as cookie cutter as possible.
The reason I adore how "Modern Family" has never made it an issue with the kids is because that is how I feel it should be. For any generation before ours, to a degree I can understand how it is hard for them to understand a same sex union. It just wasn't as prominent. It was hidden, avoided and repressed. For so long it has been drilled into society that it should not be that way.
For our generation though, and the ones following, the fact that it is still considered "unnatural" just makes me cringe. I often wonder if I would feel so fiercely about the negative connotations that being homosexual has if I wasn't raised how I was. I hope that I would be as nonchalant about it as I am, but one can never predict what a person will accept or reject without any influences.
You won't catch me using the phrase "That's so gay" or any other saying along those lines. And I have a hard time dealing with it when others do. In fact, it makes me want to throw you off a roof. If you suddenly find that I am no longer speaking to you then perhaps review your vocabulary. If you partake in the use of the word gay in a derogatory way or other words of similar kind, chances are there's your reason.
Because while I don't care about the sexual orientation about my friends I sure as hell mind if they are ignorant assholes.
Which is how it should be.
I was raised in a way that I didn't know that two women or two men being together was "not normal" until I was told otherwise years later via the schoolyard. One of my aunts has been with her partner for as long as I can recall. My parents never tried to cover it up, or make excuses as to why I received gifts from two women together. I recall the day that my mum sat me down at the kitchen table and explained to me that some people don't think it's right for people of the same sex to be together. I know she did it because I was at the age where kids were starting to say things such as "You're so gay" [or worse] and have it be a horrible insult to one another. I remember that if one of your peers called you gay it was one of the more offensive insults someone could hurl at you. Because it was so wrong to be gay. And at that age you were doing everything in your power to be as cookie cutter as possible.
The reason I adore how "Modern Family" has never made it an issue with the kids is because that is how I feel it should be. For any generation before ours, to a degree I can understand how it is hard for them to understand a same sex union. It just wasn't as prominent. It was hidden, avoided and repressed. For so long it has been drilled into society that it should not be that way.
For our generation though, and the ones following, the fact that it is still considered "unnatural" just makes me cringe. I often wonder if I would feel so fiercely about the negative connotations that being homosexual has if I wasn't raised how I was. I hope that I would be as nonchalant about it as I am, but one can never predict what a person will accept or reject without any influences.
You won't catch me using the phrase "That's so gay" or any other saying along those lines. And I have a hard time dealing with it when others do. In fact, it makes me want to throw you off a roof. If you suddenly find that I am no longer speaking to you then perhaps review your vocabulary. If you partake in the use of the word gay in a derogatory way or other words of similar kind, chances are there's your reason.
Because while I don't care about the sexual orientation about my friends I sure as hell mind if they are ignorant assholes.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Tally ho, here we go
There's no real right way to start a blog. And when you have been blogging for nearly a decade, it doesn't exactly feel like a "start".
Perhaps this will go in a ranting direction. Or conversational. Personal to a degree but don't expect many posts about how I went to work and then had a smoothie and then I came home and I watched "30 Rock" and it was awesome. Because my life is obviously awesome in general, without me having to detail every moment of my day.
"30 Rock" is pretty fantastic though. So maybe we'll see it featured here on occasion.
Perhaps this will go in a ranting direction. Or conversational. Personal to a degree but don't expect many posts about how I went to work and then had a smoothie and then I came home and I watched "30 Rock" and it was awesome. Because my life is obviously awesome in general, without me having to detail every moment of my day.
"30 Rock" is pretty fantastic though. So maybe we'll see it featured here on occasion.
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